Control Is Our Drug
In The Language of Al-Anon

Fr. Tom W.

Alcoholism is a family disease, and those of us who love an alcoholic often become spiritual and emotional casualties. We come to the program as survivors, but don’t know how to live. Instead, we have become highly skilled at reading others. In these talks, Tom reminds us that we need to focus on what is life giving to us. We need to surrender control of people, places and things. Fr. Tom shares useful tools to help us detach with love and change our attitudes and behaviors to find the peace and sanity we seek. Prayer and meditation helps to keep the focus on ourselves and Tom leads us on a lovely guided meditation. 05/10

For Families and Friends of Alcoholics
In the Language of Al-Anon

Fr. Tom Weston

Alcoholism is a family disease, and it takes a long and deep toll on those who love alcoholics, work with alcoholics, are related to alcoholics, and who have been on an emotional roller coaster with them. Whether the alcoholic is one of our parents, or spouse, one of our children, or a co-worker we need support and refreshment and recovery. This weekend looks at the tools and treasures of Al-Anon. The Al-Anon basics. How can we use these basic tools to change our attitudes and behavior to find the peace and sanity we seek.(9-08)

Fr. Tom Weston

We arrive in Al-Anon exhausted, angry and full of grief. We soon discover our obsessions over others don’t lead to freedom. And our ways of relating to others don’t change, just because the drinking and using stop. What a surprise. Fr. Tom talks about dealing with obsessive thoughts and “the rules of crazy families” that get in our way as adults. He takes us on a journey where we learn to live our own lives and foster our own growth in Al-Anon. Some of the ways Tom shows us how to do that are by developing self acceptance, being comfortable with enough, and also changing our perspectives. We learn a new way of life in recovery. We learn how to act, rather than react. (5/05)

Father Tom asks us “Are we a role model or a warning?” Before finding Al-Anon we have the tendency to run the lives of everyone else. This is a useful way of not knowing what is going on in our own lives. We can get addicted to the adrenaline and the drama. And when we finally get to Al-Anon, we are exhausted.

Father Tom talks about the steps and the tools of the program, which allow us to find out who we are and what we want to do. We all come in to the program as skillful survivors. And he reminds us that we need to learn to be grateful for those skills we developed, and then to be willing to let go of those that no longer serve us. And Father Tom shares with us how to learn some new skills to go from survivor to someone who’s fully alive. (5/02)

Beginning with the Serenity Prayer, Father Tom shows how the shift in focus of the Al-Anon program can bring profound healing in our lives. Through his own experiences, and a wealth of literature, he shows how we waste our energy trying to control people and situations, and how we can use the Program to change our attitudes and behavior to find the peace and sanctity we seek. These talks are full of wisdom, humor and practical information about working the steps, using a sponsor and being one, a simple way to journal, and some wonderful ways to say "no". And by describing his own craziness, he shows us how we can have love and compassion for ourselves as we continue to obsess, make mistakes, falter and grow.

How can we learn to view our lives with compassion and love when we grew up in alcoholic or crazy homes? How can we not be frozen in denial or consumed by anger and grief? Father Tom describes how applying the Twelve Steps of ACA can enable us to avoid repeating our past and to truly transform our lives. He offers some practical techniques to recognize, identify and experience our feelings. And he shows how to avoid managing, manipulating, martyring, and mothering, so that we can make peace with ourselves and with others. Many of us have black belts in survival, but can we truly live life fully? The answer in these inspiring talks is a resounding YES!

Learning to Live and Let Live
Father Tom

Do you find yourself entangled with people who make you nuts? Then these tapes may be just what you need. In these talks, Father Tom shows us how to learn to live fully through the steps and slogans of the AlAnon program. How do we release others with love, feel all of our feelings, and connect with our Higher Power? How can the slogan "Live and Let Live" bring new life to our recovery? He offers a guided meditation to help us release the people we're concerned about to our Higher Power. These talks are a valuable resource to help us live more effectively with ourselves and those we care about. (9/97)

Couples in Recovery

Maintaining a successful committed relationship can be one of our greatest challenges in recovery. Father Tom W. draws on the resources of wise thinkers, poets, and the personal stories of friends to show how we can achieve true openness and intimacy in a mutually fulfilling relationship. He begins with a history and overview of the AA and Al-Anon programs. He then covers a broad range of topics, including: defining our needs in a relationship; what does it mean to love and be loved; effective techniques for communication; learning to listen; how to fight fairly; surrendering without giving up; and the importance of working our own program. (9/94)

Living with Imperfection

Father Tom leads us on an entertaining journey through Steps Six and Seven in Al-Anon. He shows how we can understand and accept our own character defects, often finding treasure where we only saw ruin. He describes a number of character traits that have the potential to make us really stuck, and how we can transform them in ways that make us free. Then, using this foundation of self-discovery, we are able to understand the value of telling our own stories, helping to heal ourselves and others. (8/93)

Learning To Care For Our Own Acre

Father Tom addresses our central concern as co-dependent people: how can we properly care for ourselves in order to be truly loving and nurturing individuals? He shows how tilling the soil of our own spiritual garden leads to a blossoming of our relationships with our Higher Power, with our self, with other people and with the Earth. He describes a number of practical techniques to help us to slow down enough to be present for the miracle of our own lives. A humorous, uplifting and enriching series of talks. (8/92)

Accepting Other People: Tools for Healthy Relationships in Recovery

Father Tom W. tackles a central concern for many of us in recovery: how do we develop healthy relationships at home, at work, and with our friends? Using the spiritual principles of Al-Anon, he looks at how to take care of ourselves and how to stay out of other people's way. And he discusses the difference between being a slave to others and being truly helpful. (7/91)

Choosing to Love: Recovery in Al-Anon

Father Tom talks about recognizing and letting go of old patterns of dependency, control, manipulation, and martyr-victim craziness. He describes the choices available in recovery: Choosing to be a care-giver rather than a care-taker. Choosing to set limits. Choosing to grow. (8/87)

Grief and Grace

Coming to terms with grief and loss can be one of the most difficult challenges we face in recovery. In this retreat for Adult Children of Alcoholics, Father Tom W. helps us to understand these issues. He discusses the nature of grief, the inevitability of anger and the role of grace in healing. And he offers us tools that can enable us in time to move through grief and embrace life on the other side of loss. (9/93)

Principles of Recovery for People From Dysfunctional Families

A refreshing approach to ACA issues. Topics include the dynamics of the dysfunctional family; learning to talk, feel and trust; how recovery in ACA and Al-Anon work together; and avoiding the pitfalls of later recovery. Many of us come from dysfunctional families. Father Tom's humorous and humane approach to this sensitive topic makes the process of discovery, forgiveness and reconciliation a natural part of recovery. (12/86)

ACA: Letting Go, Healing Up & Moving On

This seminar takes up where Father Tom's Dysfunctional Families album (A0101) left off. Now that we understand the impact of growing up in a dysfunctional home, how can we change our behavior to change our lives? Topics include dealing with anger, fear, guilt and shame; grieving and letting go; prayer and meditation; asserting our rights; and taking care of ourselves. An album full of practical insight, laughter and hope. (12/87)

Footwork To Freedom in Relationships

Freedom has a lot to do with making choices about our actions and reactions, according to Father Tom. And in this series of talks, Tom shows how freedom can begin with our personal transformation through the Steps of Al-Anon and ACA. The wide range of topics include: building grown-up relationships; dealing with anger, guilt, shame and embarrassment; learning to trust; what makes a good sponsor; and finding pleasure and delight in our lives. (11/91)

Welcome to InLight CDs and Tapes on Recovery!